A fictional parable by Peter Pickering.
Grasshopper shows Sensei his latest portfolio on a glowing tablet. Each photo looks like it was dipped in acid and sharpened with a steak knife.
Grasshopper (excited)
Sensei! I have discovered the Lightroom presets folder! Look — one click, and boom! Drama! Mood! Cinematic vibes!
Sensei (squints)
Why does the baby have cheekbones like a mountain goat?
Grasshopper
That’s ‘Vintage Warrior 04’. It adds clarity, contrast, a little fade, a dash of teal… and it’s trending.
Sensei (dryly)
Indeed. The child looks like it’s been airlifted from a war documentary.
Grasshopper
But… presets are powerful. They make photos pop.
Sensei
Pop is not always flavour. Pop can be bubblegum. And bubblegum sticks — but then it turns grey and tasteless.
Grasshopper (scrolling frantically)
But look — here’s ‘Urban Monsoon’! ‘Melancholy Sage’! ‘Moody Asphalt 3000’!
Sensei (raising an eyebrow)
And here I thought you were the photographer — not the intern for a paint company.
You speak of mood. But all I see is filter.
You speak of emotion. But all I feel is editing.
You speak of depth — and give me crushed blacks, blown highlights, and a vignette so dark I fear the subject may never escape.
Grasshopper (quietly)
It’s just easier this way.
Sensei (softly)
So are instant noodles. But you don’t serve those at a wedding.
Moral of the scroll:
Presets are seasoning — not the meal. Don’t bury the photo hoping no one sees it naked. Make the capture strong enough to stand, then let the edit whisper, not scream.
